Find your (raison d'être) reason for being

We’re all chasing something, whether it's purpose, happiness, or just a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

But the truth is, most of us are stuck in a cycle where we wake up, go to work, come home, and repeat.

Maybe you’re hustling in a job that brings you zero joy, grinding away at something that feels just out of sync with who you are.

Or maybe you’re just floating — not exactly unhappy but not thrilled either.

The idea of a greater purpose or that elusive concept of “doing what you love” feels like something you read about on motivational posters, but rarely experience in real life.

If you’ve ever felt this way, then let me introduce you to a concept from Japan that has guided me and many others to purpose and fulfillment: Ikigai.

Ikigai, simply put, is the reason you get up in the morning. It’s your “why,” the sweet spot where passion, mission, vocation, and profession intersect.

It’s the thing that lights a fire under you and keeps you going even on those dark days when everything feels pointless.

Now, this isn’t some woo-woo self-help mumbo-jumbo.

The Japanese live by it, and for them, it’s a way to navigate life with meaning, joy, and resilience.

And trust me, once you start to grasp your own Ikigai, life just hits differently.

What Is Ikigai, Really?

The word Ikigai (生き甲斐) can be split into iki (life) and gai (worth or value), translating roughly to “worthwhile life” or “a reason for being.”

Ikigai is not about chasing happiness or even wealth; it’s about finding that intersection where what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for all meet.

Imagine four overlapping circles:

1. What You Love - things that bring you joy and fulfillment.

2. What You’re Good At - your skills and talents.

3. What the World Needs - problems you feel called to solve or contribute to.

4. What You Can Be Paid For - areas where you can make a living.

Where these four areas intersect?

That’s your Ikigai. 

It’s a place of alignment, where life has meaning and the journey feels fulfilling.

Let’s look at each of these areas with some real examples to help ground this a bit more…

1. What You Love (Your Passion)

Let’s start with the first quadrant of Ikigai: What you love. 

Sounds simple, right?

But let’s get real here and not get too far ahead of ourselves. Figuring out what you love is more complicated than it seems.

We’re taught to chase what we’re “good at” or what “pays the bills,” and passion often gets left in the dust.

So, how do you find what you genuinely love?

Think about what you do when nobody’s watching. What could you talk about for hours without running out of things to say?

For some people, it’s art. For others, it’s cooking, writing, problem-solving, building, or teaching.

For me, I discovered my love for helping people make sense of their personal journeys, and I realized how much I valued honest, sometimes hard-to-hear reflections. I loved the process of cutting through fluff and getting to the core of people’s real issues, giving practical advice and insight.

Here’s the trick, though. Just because you love something doesn’t mean it’s your Ikigai. Lots of people love to sing in the shower, but not everyone’s meant to be a professional singer. So, while it’s great to dream, it’s also important to be honest with yourself. Pursue what you love, but bring in the other parts of the Ikigai equation as well.

Now, here’s a practical exercise for you.

Make a list of activities you do that make you lose track of time. Write them down, even if they seem trivial.

Got a weird passion for collecting vintage toys or helping people set up websites? Those things are worth noting. They’re hints, fragments of what might make up your passion.

If you’re the kind of person who loves making people laugh, don’t dismiss it. That could be your entry point to something bigger, whether it’s creating content, becoming a public speaker, or even just lightening up the room at work.

2. What the World Needs (Your Mission)

Here’s where things get tricky. Loving something is great, but if you want to find lasting fulfillment, you need to connect it to something bigger than yourself. This is about understanding how your passion can contribute to others in a meaningful way.

Your mission is the “why” behind what you do. It’s about the difference you want to make. Think of it as your personal impact statement.

In my case, I saw a lot of people struggling with self-worth, confidence, and direction. I knew I wanted to help people navigate the human experience with more resilience and wisdom. That’s the space where I felt the world could use what I had to offer, and it fed into my work in a way that felt both personal and meaningful.

Ask yourself, "How can what I love doing make the world (even just one person’s world) better?"

If you’ve got a knack for creating content and are passionate about mental health, the world needs accessible mental health resources. Maybe your Ikigai is creating a podcast or blog on this topic — somewhere your skills, passion, and the needs of the world intersect.

3. What You’re Good At (Your Vocation)

We all want to think we’re good at something, right? This quadrant of Ikigai asks you to get specific. What do you have a knack for?

If you’re the go-to person in your friend group for advice, consider yourself a natural problem-solver.

If you’ve always been great at organizing things, maybe project management or event planning is your strength.

Ask yourself. What do people come to me for? Where have I consistently delivered results? You might even ask close friends, colleagues, or family members what they think you’re great at. Sometimes others can see our strengths more clearly than we can.

The trick here is not to limit yourself. Sometimes, we downplay our skills because we think they’re not “impressive” enough. Don’t overlook them.

When I was working in a corporate job, I didn’t realize that my ability to simplify complex topics was a skill in itself. It took stepping back and looking at the feedback I got from others to see that I had a talent for breaking down ideas in ways that connected with people. Now, I use those skills in my everyday life.

Suppose you’re an engineer. You’re technically skilled, but if you also love communicating and simplifying complex concepts, you could consider a path where you’re not just doing the technical work but teaching or consulting. This overlap of skill and passion brings you closer to your Ikigai.

4. What You Can Be Paid For (Your Profession)

Ah, the money part. We can’t avoid it.

Yes, finding your Ikigai is about more than just earning a paycheck, but this last piece is crucial.

To live sustainably, you need to figure out a way to make a living from what you’re passionate about, skilled at, and connected to.

You may have heard that “do what you love and the money will follow,” but it’s not always that simple. Sometimes, you have to look for creative ways to monetize your passion. It’s all about marketable skills, taking what you’re good at, and finding a way to apply it in a way that meets a demand.

The beauty of Ikigai is that it doesn’t demand you quit your job overnight and start fresh. Sometimes, finding your Ikigai is about weaving your purpose into what you already do or slowly building it as a side hustle.

With today’s technology, there are so many ways to monetize skills. You can create content, teach online, freelance, consult, and more.

Think about what services or products you could offer. What value do you bring to the table that people would pay for? It doesn’t mean you need to monetize everything you love, but if you want a sustainable Ikigai, there has to be a financial element to it.

If you’re an amazing cook, you could offer cooking classes, write a blog with affiliate income, or even create recipe books. Be open to different revenue streams. If one approach doesn’t work, there’s always another way.

The Sweet Spot

Now that you have these four areas: Passion, Mission, Vocation, and Profession. This is where the magic happens. When you can find an overlap between what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for, you’re in the sweet spot. That’s your Ikigai.

But let me be real with you. This is a journey, not a destination. It doesn’t magically appear overnight. It’s a process that requires self-reflection, experimenting, and patience.

You might go down a few dead ends or start to think, Maybe I don’t even have an Ikigai. But trust me, you do. Everyone has a unique blend of skills, passions, and values waiting to be aligned.

In my own journey, I’ve explored countless paths, made some choices that worked, and learned from plenty that didn’t.

Finding Ikigai is less about having everything figured out from day one and more about uncovering layers of yourself, bit by bit.

Be kind to yourself in the process. Let the journey teach you, even if the lessons aren’t always what you expect.

Practical Steps to Start Finding Your Ikigai

1. Brainstorm Each Circle Separately: Get a notebook and write down at least 5-10 things you love, are good at, believe the world needs, and can be paid for. Don’t censor yourself — let it flow.

2. Reflect on Patterns: Look at your lists and see where there’s overlap. Circle any recurring themes and ask yourself, Could this be a part of my Ikigai?

3. Experiment: Start small. If you think teaching might be part of your Ikigai, don’t quit your job and jump into it full-time. Start by creating content, teaching a class, or mentoring. Test it out and see how it feels.

4. Evaluate & Adjust: Pay attention to what feels right and what doesn’t. Ikigai isn’t static; it grows with you. Keep adjusting until you find the alignment that feels authentic and sustainable.

5. Have Patience: You’re looking for purpose, not a quick dopamine hit. Be willing to go the distance and trust that each small step is bringing you closer to your Ikigai.

Finding your Ikigai is about living a life that feels fully yours, aligned with who you are and what you value. It’s not just a career path or a passion project. It’s the life you’re meant to live.

And while it’s not an easy journey, every step brings you closer to a place where you’re not just existing but thriving, driven by purpose and meaning.